Junk Brain Diagnosis

 

Test your reflexes by killing cockroaches while you enjoy looking at the idol of the moment! Sounds sooo fun, doesn’t it?

If you think it doesn’t, then you can consider yourself fortunate, that means you’ve passed our sanity test.

Because that is, in truth, what this product is: A big sanity check specifically designed to target brainless fans of poor Kanako Enomoto, who should always regret the moment she signed the contract to be the image of this s**t unconventional piece of software.

But it’s not cockroaches and boobs the only things you’ll find here. That would have be too kind of the developers to do. You can also torture yourself trying to follow Kanako’s cheesy rhythm. Imagine that part like the 90’s ugly grandfather of Just Dance (well, that if you want to actually “imagine” it).

junkbrainThe game also includes puzzles. And no, we’re not talking about how puzzled you’ll get when looking at the game and his poorly made design decisions.

But we shouldn’t be so negative. Overall, this game is a superb piece of software, if we just focus at the purpose it was created for: to check if there was anyone so obsessed with the most popular gravure idol of the moment (or just dumb enough) to pay the 5.000 yens it cost. Don’t forget that there were people who actually bought it, so we cannot deny its success.

The developer, a company called “Exit”, (that did what its name suggests and exited PS_glay-stationthe developing scene a few years later, but not before leaving behind some more (brain) junk games for future generations to enjoy); and the equally unknown publisher, “Oracion”, were the great dream team behind this product. Don’t worry if you never heard of them before, we hoped we didn’t either. They also collaborated that same year of 1999 to release, for mankind’s enjoyment, the equally unforgettable “Glay Station”, also an idol-themed puzzle “software”, in that case based on the (back then) popular boyband “Glay”. They probably thought this was all a good idea…

The poor Kanako ended so traumatized by this game that her next work after it was a junkbrain2TV series called “Virtual Girl“. It could seem, looking from distance, that she needed to redeem herself in front of the virtual world for the bad karma she created by perpetrating this forgettable title, as the plot was about her character becoming an “agent” that solved crimes in the digital world.

 

 

 

 

 

Thinking it twice, maybe that wasn’t a redemption, after all…

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